If you or someone you know has just turned fifty, it’s time to accept that the rules of life have changed, and that fifty is not the new thirty for most of us. Leland Gregory understands the forgetful minds, sagging bodies, and flagging pride of his fellow middle-agers, and in 50 Things Not to Do after 50, he offers helpful advice aimed at combating the humiliations this stage of life can bring.

For example, regardless of your gender, under no circumstances should you ever

attempt to wear leather pants

start a story that involves a lot of names—you'll forget most of them before the story is over

stalk your high school sweetheart on Facebook. You might discover the person you had the hots for in 10th grade isn’t so hot anymore

get drunk in Pamplona and deciding to run with the bulls

volunteer to be a drug mule

Say things like "fo’shizzle," "whatev," or "cray-cray"

And do we really need to mention thongs, Speedos, or jeggings?

50 Things Not to Do after 50 is a lighthearted and sometimes painfully on-target book about how what we used to do in our twenties, thirties, and forties should be avoided at all costs now that we’re in our fifties.